A collection of one shots
by ShayFox77
Summary: Finally, all of the shorts are in one place! Easy to find, and all of them are either humor or romance. Just my mind working in odd ways...
1. Inuyasha's Dream, creepy humor

"Sesshoumaru, I'll kick your ass this time!" Inuyasha said, pulling out his rubber sword. Sesshoumaru laughed out loud.  
  
"You think you can beat me and my rubber duckie!?" He called, pulling out a life-size rubber duckie. "Together, Squeaky and I are invincible!" He yelled, pulling out a bottle of bubble bath mix.  
  
"You think you and that yellow duck are going to defeat me? Ha! You couldn't beat up yourself with that thing Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha called back, swinging his rubber sword around making little "Whoosh" sounds with his mouth.  
  
"I could too Inuyasha!" Sesshoumaru yelled back, hitting himself in the face with the rubber duckie. He took off the soap lid and ran onto the lake. (There's a lake if I say there's a lake!) And he jumped in, dumping the bubble mix all through the water. Suddenly, the bubble mix overflows out of the small pond and bubbles up on shore.  
  
"Inuyabbashba!" Sesshoumaru yelled from inside the bubble mass.  
  
"I'll save you my pretty! And your little dog too!" Inuyasha called out as he ran and dove in the mud pit full of bubbles. (now it's a mud pit. 'Cuse I say so.) He swam deep down in the muck until he pulled out. . . Kagome and Kikyou half naked and fighting!  
  
A mesmerized Miroku sat on the shore screaming, "Fight, fight, fight!" At the top of his lungs. Sesshoumaru popped up from the bubbles and began to cat fight with the girls. Soon the girls were totally naked and Inuyasha was up on the shore screaming too. Suddenly, Kagome ripped off Sesshoumaru's shirt and they all screamed.  
  
"Sesshoumaru has breasts!" Kikyou and Kagome screamed, running away as fast as their naked mud covered legs could take them.  
  
Miroku ran up and started to touch them, when he was slapped by Sesshoumaru.  
  
Sesshoumaru said in a very girly voice, "Don't touch the implants! They haven't fully healed!" He told him. Pretty soon every body ran back to the campsite, leaving shirtless-breast implanted Sesshoumaru in the mud.  
  
Inuyasha sat on a log biting his nails. He looked around for Kagome but couldn't find her. Then he walked into some thick bushes and found. . .  
  
Kagome and Shippo making out! He slapped his eyes and Kagome looked up asking,  
  
"You can join us if you want."  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Inuyasha sat up from the ground screaming. It was all dark outside.  
  
"Thank Gods it was only a dream. . . Just a dream." He muttered to himself. But he snapped up again as he heard rustling in the bushes behind him and the faint sound of lips smacking together.  
  
"Screw it." He told himself as he hit the ground and shut his eyes again.  
  
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Author's Note: I was up at about five am, half asleep and thought this was pretty funny when I wrote it. Now I just think it's sick. XD 


	2. Kikyou In Hell, kikyou bashing humor

Kikyou slowly fell downward into the pitch black. When she hit the floor, she discovered she lay in demon hell! Above her stood a towering man, in a baboon suit. (Because that's what you see as scary, right?)  
  
"So you finally ended up where you belonged eh? It's about time! Whe made a whole new section just for you! We named it, 'Miko Whores', Whaddya think?" He asked.  
  
Kikyou stood there in utter shock, unable to speak.  
  
"Let's get going then. You're all the way at the end." He told her. Then sprouting from the floor came miniature Inuyashas with pointed sticks, threatening her if she didn't stand up and fallow him. She jumped up and ran closely behind him, trying to avoid stepping on the little hanyous with spears.  
  
"Ah, I'll give you the tour. On our right here, is the terrorist section. Oh, and that flaming pit down there is the Fluffy Haters. And on the left over there you've got your snake demon and reptile youkai." He continued. And all along the way the little Inuyashas stuck spears at her feet, causing her to yelp and jump into the Baboon man.  
  
"And finally, here you are." He told her, opening a door. All around her she could see pictures of Inuyasha kissing Kagome happily, and holding her hand, surrounded by little pups. "So far, you're alone here. But we felt we had to make a section for our honored guest. We couldn't just stick you with the republicans or anything."  
  
"Huh?" She asked.  
  
"Oh, that's ahead of your time, never mind. Any how, the noon movie's in a half an hour if you'd like to see it. I think they're playing more re-runs of Backstreet boys videos. Then for lunch we've got over cooked spaghetti and burnt ramen. Enjoy your stay!" He yelled back, cackling madly, before he shut the door.  
  
End!  
  
*~*~ lol, just a lame little thing I thought up one day. Because every one wants to see that miko burn, don't we? P.S. No offence to republicans or Backstreet boy fans, lol.~*~*~ 


	3. Confession, short romance

Kagome walked up next to Inuyasha who was sitting under the God tree. She sat down next to him with her bag. He turned to give her a questioning look. But she just smiled in return.  
  
"What?" He asked her, a hint of anger in his voice.  
  
"I just wanted to talk, that's all." Kagome said.  
  
"About what? C'mon, just say it." Inuyasha said, giving her a frustrated look.  
  
"Well, I just wanted to know, if you think you can tell me anything." Kagome asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Inuyasha asked in return.  
  
"Do you trust me Inuyasha? Enough to tell me anything?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha blushed for some reason. "Promise me you could tell me anything Inuyasha. Promise me." Kagome told him.  
  
"I promise, Kagome." Inuyasha said reluctantly. She nodded and stood up, grabbing her bag.  
  
"Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked almost tenderly.  
  
"Home for an exam. I'll be home later tomorrow, after school." Kagome told him. He gave her a simple 'Feh' before she walked back to the well and jumped in.  
  
That night in the forest he couldn't sleep. He kept remembering the words Kagome made him promise. To tell her anything. He had something to tell her, something big. But how would she react if he told her that he loved her? She could sit him or she could say that back, he didn't know. Maybe all of their fighting was just a cover up for an attraction? If it was they were deeply in love. But he had to confess that to Kagome at first.  
  
It was like a bubble growing bigger and bigger in his chest, if he told Kagome, it would pop and everything would be okay. But if he didn't, it would explode and kill him. 'I can't tell her. I've got to tell her. I won't say anything. I've got to say something. I won't go. But look, my legs are moving and I'm going to go. Stop being such a fucking wimp! A real man would go and tell her right away. But I'm only half man. A real youkai would do it too. But I'm only half demon. Than I have to do it. Tomorrow, I'll do it. No I won't. I will! And that's the end of it! I will! I'll even bring her a rose!' Inuyasha yelled to himself inside his head.  
  
He eventually fell to sleep, but only after hours of debate late into the night. In the morning he opened his eyes to a sun that was already high in the sky. He jumped off of the ground and began to get ready to leave. 'I have to bathe, then I have to get that flower!' He thought. When he began to run to the hot springs Miroku called,  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
Inuyasha didn't answer, but Miroku knew. Inuyasha ran and took that bath until he felt the cleanest he had in his life. Then he ran back to the big meadow where lots of flowers grew. He saw the bunch of silver lined red roses and picked several. Carefully guarding them, he sped of for the well.  
  
When he reached it he stopped. 'This is your last chance to turn back. If you go now, you can't stop. But I've got to do it, I'm going to do it.' He told himself.  
  
He jumped down the well holding the bunch of roses close to his heart. He held them tightly all the way, and only loosened his grip when he hopped out. But unlucky for him, Kagome's grandfather was lighting candles around that very well.  
  
"Inuyasha, what calls you here?" Her grandfather asked.  
  
"Where's Kagome!?" Inuyasha yelled, as politely as he could.  
  
"She's at school, you'll have to wait." Her grandfather said, eyeing the flowers with a small grin.  
  
"I can't wait now. I'll go to her school!" Inuyasha said, running out of the shrine.  
  
"Wait, at least wear some of the modern clothes she's bought you!" He grandfather called. Inuyasha realized to go in public his ears and his outfit would alarm, but he didn't care. The least he could do was change clothes. So he ran back and into Kagome's room (through the window), and found the clothes. He struggled to but the "jeans" and "t-shirt" on. The pants were largely oversized like his, but the shirt fut quite snug, which Kagome had told him it should. We took the time to run a "comb" through his hair while he was there, but he jumped out the window right afterward.  
  
"Good luck Inuyasha!" He grandfather called on his way out.  
  
Inuyasha found Kagome's scent in to time and fallowed it. He jumped from building to building (which was harder with sandals on) and finally found the big building. After he jumped to the walk way it was harder to tell her scent from the hundreds of others, but he did and walked right through the open front door.  
  
A woman sitting behind a desk tried to get his attention.  
  
"Sir, excuse me sir, are you here to see someone?" The woman asked. Inuyasha nodded, walking away from the desk.  
  
"Are you a visitor? Sir, you have to get a visitor badge! Sir, come back!" The woman yelled hopelessly as he turned a corner. He had no time for nosy women. He was just after Kagome.  
  
He turned another corner and ran into a long hallway where he could smell her scent in several places. 'Just find the scent leading to the nearest door. She'll be in there.' He thought. He went from door to door smelling the scent.  
  
"Excuse me, do you have a hall pass?" Some one called from behind him. He didn't turn around, he kept smelling. And thought he didn't know what a 'hall pass' was, he replied.  
  
"No, so buzz off." He told the male sounding voice.  
  
"You can't be out here without a pass. I'm going to have to report you." He told Inuyasha, who barely heard him, still tracking the scent. He heard a fuzzy noise behind him and turned to see the boy holding a black box to his mouth and talking to it.  
  
"We have a skipper in section C; we need an administrator down here." He told the box. And to Inuyasha's surprise the box said back,  
  
"Be there in thirty seconds." Inuyasha didn't know how long that was, but he guessed it was short. So he kept smelling until he came to another door that was fresh with her scent. He reached to the door knob and pushed it open.  
  
He was in such a daze he just looked around and spotted Kagome, with a large look in her eyes. He held the roses tightly and ran up to her, ignoring all of the other students around her whispering.  
  
"Inuyasha, what are you doing here?" Kagome whispered to him when he got to her.  
  
"I need to tell you something." Inuyasha said in a stumble of words.  
  
"This isn't exactly the best time I'm-" She tried to tell him. But he interrupted her and whispered in a soft voice,  
  
"Kagome, I love you." He told her handing the roses to her hands. At first the class was silent and so was Kagome.  
  
Kagome grabbed the flowers and threw her arms around him, pulling him into a long sweet kiss. He felt himself blush bright red as she broke away and yelled,  
  
"I love you too Inuyasha!" The classroom erupted into applause and Inuyasha realized every one had been watching them. Even then in his daze of happiness he asked her,  
  
"Kagome, will you be my mate?" He said. This time the smile spread across her whole face and she told him,  
  
"Of course I will!" The class stood up and a group of friends squealed and giggled behind Kagome.  
  
"I bet we get to be the bridesmaids!" They all yelled. Kagome laughed and kissed him again, long and deep. It was like the whole world fell away in her kiss. Her soft rose lips graced his and the noise stopped. He held her around her waist and her long warm graceful arms were wrapped around his shoulders.  
  
"I love you so much Inuyasha!" She told him. He kissed her this time and waited for the noise to die down.  
  
"Kagome, would you like to be excused? I'm sure you can take the make up when you return." The woman at the front of the room told her. She nodded vigorously and Inuyasha picked her up in his arms and took her outside. Three men were waiting outside, but backed off when they saw them kissing. He took her outside into the sunlight and placed her on the ground.  
  
"Thank you Inuyasha." Kagome told him as she grabbed his hand.  
  
"For what?" He asked as they began to walk down the path.  
  
"For telling me everything." Kagome told him. He smiled and kissed her. She held the roses close to her heart. 


	4. Inuyasha's trip to the mall, humor

Inuyasha: What the hell it this? :looks up at title:  
  
Kagome: I think it's funny.  
  
Inuyasha: I think the author is a lunatic.  
  
Kagome: Yea, she looks a little twisted to me.  
  
ShayFox: Hey if you two don't watch your mouths I'll make one called "Inuyasha's day at the Gynecologist"!  
  
Kagome: :points at Inuyasha and laughs:  
  
ShayFox: :points to Kagome: And you get to be the nurse!  
  
Kagome: Oh, you think you're really funny don't you? I think you're sick.  
  
Anyway.. Read and enjoy!  
  
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It was a normal Saturday afternoon in Kagome's time. The sun was shinning, the birds were singing, everything was peaceful.  
  
Kagome was at the mall with her friends, though she really wanted to be at home, studying for the next test, or back with the gang, looking for shards.  
  
"Kagome, you have to promise us you'll stay for a few more hours! This is the first time you've been well in a while and you have a ton of allowance saved up." They told her.  
  
"Fine! I'll stay, I'll stay!" She told her friends, just to get them to back off for a while. They started by going into a Macy's and looking around at cosmetics.  
  
"Kagome, that shade looks great on you!" One of her four best friends told her. She decided to buy the light pink lipstick and silvery shadow for her eyes. After applying a shade in the bathroom she walked back out to see what shades her friends were picking. But instead of looking at lipstick, they were talking to a boy with silver hair and dog ears. As she walked up angrily she could hear her friends talking.  
  
"Oh your ears are so kawaii!" One of them told him.  
  
"And that outfit is so cool!" Another one said.  
  
"Oh, Kagome's right over there, see? But why don't you shop with us for a while?" Another one added. He turned to face her and put on a big fake smile, asking for forgiveness.  
  
"Inuyasha, what are you doing here!?" She yelled causing shoppers heads to turn.  
  
"Kaede told me to-" He began to explain before she cut him off.  
  
"I'm taking you back right now!" She said, grabbing one of his ears.  
  
"Kagome, you promised!" Her friends shouted.  
  
"Inuyasha, go back and tell her I'll come tomorrow." Kagome told him.  
  
"How do I get back?" He asked with an angry tone. Kagome knew her explanation about the buses and money would be hopeless.  
  
"Fine, you can stay with us." Kagome told him, knowing she was in a fixed spot.  
  
"So this is Inuyasha?" Her friends asked as they giggled.  
  
"Sadly." Kagome said, dragging him from display to display.  
  
"You told us he was rude, but you didn't tell us he was so cute!" They said. Inuyasha turned to them and blushed a deep shade of red.  
  
"No don't touch that!" Kagome whispered to him as she took his claws away from a perfume rack. "Don't touch that either!" She whispered. She was so quiet only Inuyasha could hear what she was saying. She kept taking his hands away from different racks.  
  
"Awww, look, she's holding his hand! They make such a cute couple!" They said.  
  
"Couple? What the hell are-" He tried to say before Kagome cut him off again.  
  
"Play along! I can't exactly tell them you're from the feudal era!" She whispered to him so her friends wouldn't hear.  
  
"Fine, fine. But if they make one more of those little giggle noises I'm exploding. And why do they talk in those high voices? They hurt my ears!" He whispered back.  
  
"Deal with it!" She told him.  
  
"Oh look! They're whispering to each other, it's so cute!" The giggled again. Kagome gave him an evil warning glare. He snarled.  
  
"Oh my gosh, I have the best idea! Lets go clothes shopping for Inuyasha! I know he would look so adorable in some nice jeans." One of her friends said. Inuyasha's face went pale, knowing he'd have to do it.  
  
The girls started to grab all kinds of things of racks. Jeans, hoodies, muscle shirts, jackets, even swim wear. Kagome was practically ripping her hair out as they stuffed him in a dressing room with the piles of clothes.  
  
"C'mon, try them on!" They shouted. A few minutes later he came out wearing the white muscle shirt and a pair of very baggy pants.  
  
"We are so getting that for him." The girls said as they swarmed him.  
  
Even Kagome had to admit, Inuyasha had the frame for it, and the great muscles. Basically, Inuyasha was extremely hot.  
  
"Geez Inuyasha, you are cute." Kagome whispered under her breath, forgetting about Inuyasha's ears.  
  
His head popped up to look her way and his paleness was replaced with another blush. Kagome just had to giggle.  
  
Inuyasha went back inside and tried on another pair of things. Kagome noted the girls ran in and got the outfit he was wearing last and bought it without hesitation.  
  
Inuyasha came out wearing a black hoodie and less baggie pants.  
  
"Wait a minute. Turn around really quick Inuyasha; I want to see how the pants fit." One of the girls told him with a mischievous smile.  
  
"I knew it! He's got a great butt too! Kagome, you officially have the hottest boyfriend of us all!" Another one squealed. Kagome looked at Inuyasha and couldn't resist looking at his butt. Kagome couldn't hold her giggles anymore. She burst out and Inuyasha flared up with his brightest blush yet.  
  
"That's it. I'll find my way back if it takes me days!" He said stomping back into the changing room. The girls bought the other things to and handed them to Kagome in bags.  
  
"You guys, I really have to go get him." Kagome told her friends.  
  
"That's okay, you can go now. But bring him back soon! And if he has any attractive family, tell them about us, won't you?" They said with another burst of giggles.  
  
"Okay, see you guys." Kagome called as she ran off to find him. She secretly giggled at the thought of telling Sesshoumaru about her friends. 


End file.
